We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize