So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
