what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
