I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
