how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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