it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
