hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
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