Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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