i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
