I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
