I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
