I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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