You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
