Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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