So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
