This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Randomize