I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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