somebody snuck up and got me drunk
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I am naked and annoyed.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
