so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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