i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
