Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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