He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
