I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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