he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Randomize
