Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
