He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
