Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
