It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Randomize
