He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
