that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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