Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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