woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Randomize