I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize