His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
