Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
