...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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