is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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