everyone is single if you try hard enough
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize