He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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