i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
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