Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
