Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
