4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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