dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
