I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Randomize
