Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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