O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
