I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I think people are normalizing furries
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize