I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
