I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
