You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
