I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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