yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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