it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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