so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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