I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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