dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
