lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize