Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize