Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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