actually, I'm a sock model
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
