god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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