its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Everclear isn't food dammit
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
