Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
