How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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