Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
