if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
