it hurts more in the daytime
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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