ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
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