Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
a search helicopter?!
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
