Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
