just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize