I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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