i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
