Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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