A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
it's great music for shaving your balls
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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