Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
