Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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