you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
