chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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