why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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