The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
