Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
