believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
