i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I think a kid would responsible me up
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
